breakdown, sad animals, yet on the brink of sheer bliss.

Tonight is the night. I'm sitting on a Moroccan style couch, watching CNN, waiting for the results of the 2008 election. This will, as I'm sure you all know, change the path of our country. It will change the way we're perceived as Americans internationally-- and most pertinently for the moment, it will change the way my friends and I are seen as Americans in Morocco starting tomorrow. For the past three months, living in Morocco, 10 times out of 10 I'm given hugs and thumbs up for supporting Obama. Most people here don't even know who "that other guy," McCain, is. If only the whole world had a ballot, it would be unianimous.

Ilhamdallah, all the other students here are pro-Obama. What does that say about the reality of the situation in the US? Well, if you ask me, it says that well-travelled, highly educated, intelligent, loving, yet highly critical of politicians in general. And yes, we have all come to the conclusion that Obama will take our country in a much better direction than McCain will take us in.

This... is BIG. Starting tomorrow- to be an American will be different. For my future, the future of my peers, my parents, my children... I truly hope that Obama will be the next president of the United States of America. Enshallah.

So, on to the title of this entry: BREAKDOWN. Now, don't get scared. I'm just coming to a point here- ya know, the point of breakdown. This is to say nothing about things here. I think I need moments like these sometimes; they could just be called moments to recharge. Today, it came to crying in class. I was crying, at surface level, because I was struggling to pronounce the words that I had written myself (granted, vowels aren't written in Arabic script and these were words that I just learned). But, it wasn't the day that I could tolerate those little mistakes and being corrected. So I cried, just a few small tears. But, it was good. Then I journaled a bit, realized how much I miss having my friends available to call whenever I want, and then just let it go- or attempted to as best I could.

What warms my heart is that I have such beautiful friends here and I have two immensely cute, super friendly kittens at home who love to snuggle. There is far more to be happy and grateful for in this moment than there is to be critical or negative about. I love this country and my experiences herein.

But on the animal note, the way in which animals are treated in this city is truly frightening. Today, on the old city streets, I was fighting the urge to vomit and or cry as I saw a pained horse standing near by: he had several open wounds on his legs, he was carrying at least 100lbs on it's back, and it's eye was dripping with puss. My eyes are welling up just thinking about it. Now, I've come to know in my travels that it's impossible to talk about this reality as the fault of the citizens. "It's not right, it's not wrong, it's just different" (Thank you AFS). But, it's still a question I find perplexing. There, on the street, there was this subconscious desire to grab the horses owner by the shoulders and slap him across the face. But there is the practical side that tells me not to do it, that it would make no difference. And this question is a lot bigger than the state of care for Animals in the Fez medina. These things come about when crossing cultures, so what does one do? This is, of course, a big question-- perhaps even unanswerable. Wa... hakatha.

So, this is "breakdown" and "sad" but pending the election results, live tomorrow could be sheer bliss. Enshallah, Obama will bring America (and the rest of the world) to a state of greater peace, stability, and hope.

B'salama.